My so called life.

As this week comes to an end, its a stiff reminder of the unfortunate circumstances that surround me. The end of this week means I've gone another 7 whole days without receiving a single job offer or a reply about an internship. The end of this week means the 30+ resumes I've sent out and the ONE job interview I've gone on this week was to no avail. I'm so confused and a few steps away from being depressed. I looked at my resume and started from scratch, because I felt like there may have been some sort of error or stiffness within my resume that made potential employers uninterested. I did research on the retail company I recently applied to before the interview just to make sure I was on my "A game" at the interview. I showed up 15 minutes early and was dressed very appropriately. I smiled, answered questions honestly, and the person interviewing me seemed very impressed. I'm trying to stay optimistic, with hopes that since it's only been a few days since my interview that maybe they'll call, but I just have this gut feeling that they won't.

 I'm not sure what all this rejection that I've been receiving lately means but whatever it is I pray to God that I never have to experience it again. I just want to go back to my normal, overachieving, goal accomplishing ways.  Some people get content with mediocrity but not me! I'm dying of infulfilment(I'm not even sure if that's a word) and I've only been unemployed for a month (but technically I've been on the "job hunt" since my college graduation in May 2011)...

This is sooo not the life I envisioned for my 22 year old self. I always dreamed that I'd be in graduate school or that I'd have a entry level job in my field, financially independent and stable without a care in the world but unfortunately that's not who I am today. The woman I see staring back at me everyday when I look in the mirror is someone I never thought I would ever be. I just always knew that things would be different for me but they are the way they are.

As much as I want to progress in life right now I have to realize that maybe its not me. Maybe its because of the fact that, although the economy is slowly picking up its pace, there are tons of people, many of whom have years of experience, that are applying for the same positions that I am. People with Master degrees and PHD's are willing to take pay cuts just to have a job in their field. Or maybe it is me. Maybe its in the way I've written my resume, or the manner in which I answer questions at an interview. Maybe its my talent, or lack-thereof. Whatever the case I genuinely hope I come to some resolution because I don't know how much more of this stagnant, boring, and miserable period I can handle. I have so many responsibilities now and not being able to fulfill them drive me crazy. I just wish I knew what to do or where to start... Hopefully I figure it out sooner than later or anytime before I lose my sanity.